Why we do the things we do.

I went to Ralphs today to pick up a few things for mom.

On my way down the bread aisle I passed by a man pushing his shopping cart. This guy was a giant.... at least 6 feet 4... and at least 200 pounds.

Our grocery cart clicked. "oh sorry". I adjusted my path and glanced up for a brief second.

Within that microsecond, we made eye contact.

Recognition.

It's funny how the human mind works... and what things we remember from the past. I knew his full name. He went to my elementary school, and we were in the same 3rd grade class. I knew the name of his best friend then. They were inseparable... zooming around the carpeted classroom floor with their beloved toy trunks and engines. He wore striped overalls and was a train conductor one Halloween.

And I specifically remember a scene during circle time when our teacher confiscated his muddy toy stick... and stuffed it in her bra.

Aside from the same sandy brown hair, I could swear this person looks completely different. In fact, despite him being a classmate, I'd barely spoke to then... it was the era when boys had cooties.

Yet I recognized him after over a decade. Similarly, his blue eyes bared into mine with a sense of recognition.

and then we continued our separate ways down the grocery aisle.

my last 24 hours in boston.... not.

my alarm beeps. i had set it for no reason, no exams no test, no nothing. the only things certain today are that i have to get my room wrapped up. as neat as a sleek can. and successfully catch the 7am plane next morning. oh and shoe racks.

getting closure on close to a thousand days of your life on the atlantic side of the united states is not just physically, but emotionally toiling as well.

tapping of rain on the windowsill, no, i mean pounding. is the sky crying? I’m being dramatic. shit. I need to donate my stuff.

suddenly i find myself and two other friends jaywalking across streets each lugging a 30 lb box of clothing. I curse myself for the tax free enticement of massachusett’s law on garments. its raining horse tears. packaging tape soaks up.. and sneakily loosens it’s grip. my poor cardboard boxes. postal office lady is a bitch. i spend 100 on shipping.

so i treat myself with boba to make myself feel better.

i go home after lunch and sit in world war 3 for 1 more hour until realize my broken guitar and clothes must be donated or sold. i find that donation is the only option .. and slowly feel more and more empty as things are given away.

it hits 430 pm as i walk out of goodwill.  my coworkers text me about grabbing drinks. for a split second i almost text back yes. a car comes by and spashes water all over me. ” no sorry, i still need to pack frantically” and then of course, i remember..

and CUT

Here's to a not-so-symbolic end to a new beginning. Indeed, there's more to the story above but probably would be too boring for a public outlet... thus shared in a private blog with my best college friends... and...

instead, I'll post something a bit less glum and but probably still somewhat thought provoking.

with the acquisition of my iphone 4s about a  year ago, i've hopelessly fallen into addiction to the glorified, and yes remarkably grand instagram.

snap here snap there, a quick flip of filters. wow, it looks amazing. an end result that would have taken me at least 20 minutes fiddling around on photoshop to look equally as vintage.

But it dawned on me today. Technology has the positives of creating an 'end result' in an instant.  however, is this simplification really aiding to our civilization or is it just allowing mass creation of diverse artwork with no actual skill involved?  What is skill anymore? what is talent?

Back in early highschool and middle, I took pride in learning html from scratch... then
with the advent of 'what you see is what you get' editors and suddenly with a click of a button, a new page is born. I'm bitter, but its ok. I got a bite of the other side of the cookie too .. with the new instagram video... i am now such a pro... videographer.  =)

anyway.  there really is no point in this entry.  rather, a beginning to more consistent entry publishings on this blog. Thanks to the procurement of a very expensive piece of paper also known as the diploma, I am back from my hiatus. ah such bliss. until next time.

This will make you jealous of my NYE

The next best thing to getting your wisdom teeth pulled during vacation, is getting your teeth pulled one day before New Years Eve. I was fortunate enough to undergo this procedure today. I suggest everyone do the same. Decide on a whim one day before your molar extraction, as yours truly did. (aided by the fact that our family dentist would be on vacation.. and the next available appointment day would be too close to my journey back to school)

Basically, I didn't realize what was up until I was already lying on the dental chair this morning, with my mouth open, and the dental assistant meticulously applying numbing goo on my gums.

And then it really dawned on me. "holy shit, I can't feast tomorrow night then" 

but that was quickly interrupted by a plying sound and pressure. 

Suppressing that internal struggle of "this is freaky, but I am also almost a quarter century old so I cannot freak out" wasn't too easy, so I focused on worse situations like the news segment I saw where this lady in china went to get 4 teeth pulled, and the dentist pulled out 16.. like really?

but I digress. I just had my two upper babies taken out. and apparently I don't have roots at all for bottom molars... *thank god*  

But this entry isn't about my experience.  It's about attachment. After the procedure, my dentist popped something into a tiny blue cup handed it to me and said "here are ur teeth, you can bleach them if you want"

I peered in and saw the two ugliest things I have ever seen in my whole life. 

And I was utterly fascinated by them.

I'll spare anyone pictures... but let's say now I can SOMEWHAT understand the utterly repulsive newfeed image a friend posted a while ago of their pulled-out wisdom teeth. Because... these little bloody- ceramic like pieces... with miniscule slivers of gum still around it, are GROWN BY ME.

ok. that was like.... really really weird.

So after the procedure, my family proceeded to go to two different appliance retailers to search for a new fridge, go grocery shopping at two places, and get jack-in-the-box.  All the whiles, i'm sitting in teh car, spitting into a plastic bag and changing gauze every 30 min.  Because..... other than the fact that you can't eat, it's not that bad.  Even now.. like 8 hours later, all I feel is just a dull numb.  I haven't even taken a painkiller yet. 

Maybe I just have lame nerves or something.... but I'll still keep my fingers crossed for tomorrow.

jellybeans

my mother’s class did a gift exchange with another class during Halloween. presents for presents. and on the day of the exchange,  20 crinkling bags of treats from my mother’s class were presented to their neighboring class. imagine! 20 beaming eyes and thoughts bursting with anticipation on what their fellow friends next door would give to them in return… but…..to much dismay, the other teacher presented, one jar of jellybean for my mother’s whole class to share.  Luckily, with her years of experience, my mom had an emergency stash of treats saved for desperate situations.  Soon enough, tiny hands were each grasping their own share of sweets, enough to make their taste buds sing.

and this is also why I saw this jar of jellybeans on the living room table this winter break.

I dove for it when I saw it, then the 14 year old in me held me back. I looked up, and sheepishly asked mother for permission to eat it. No. she says. ok.  3 hours later, I give another try.  This time my mom asks. “why?”

I don’t know, I always had a fondness for jelly beans. I think they are like a candy cheatsheet…. for indecisive people.  You have 1 bean that represents a whole candy flavor. orange for orange candy, bubblegum for bubble gum, pina colado. popcorn for popcorn. granted the taste of other candies are not completely replicable… but definitely close enough. Think… it takes 7 minutes to finish a strawberry flavored dumdum lollypop, in 7 minutes you can have at least 4 DIFFERENT flavored jelly beans…. it’s like going to the international exhibit in Disneyworld to see the most spectacular landmarks of the world all in ONE day. saving airfare, living cost and most importantly time.

imagine a world without jelly beans. the horror!

and after my explanation. she said ok. 

How I found myself in Rochester, New York one summer evening.

I suppose I should be typing about how excited I am to have formally situated my abode for the next year or so.  But I can't help replaying back to events that happened approximately 24 hours ago. Plus or minus a few  time zone differences and you can highlight one of my most terrifying moments in my life, so far. Minus that time I was on X2. I'm kidding.

It started with a phone call.

My future roommate and I had booked the same return flight from boston.  We checked the date, the airline, even the seating (she would be diagonal from me), and finally the time. down to the minute.  Leaving at 620 arriving at 1141.  Big mistake because one thing we didn't check was the AM/PM.

and on the first night of our hotel stay, as she tapped away on her ipad, she exclaimed "I wonder how we are going to get to the airport so early?"

you can probably figure out the series of exclamations after that.  And this sets the premises to why I was traveling home alone.

fast forward to the third day of the trip.

My airplane was delayed for over an hour.  Having arrived there already several hours earlier, I was in the most impatient mood.  I was hungry (wanted to just buy food on the plane), I was tired from waking up early, I was annoyed that I was over 40 points behind in most of my WWF games. (seriously, I suck).  The last thing I wanted was a delayed flight. My mom had promised me "delicious' food when I got home.  Till now I wonder if she actually did prepare it or was it going to be store bought.

Nevertheless, the flight did come and we boarded.

A few minutes after being seated, the man next to me pulls out his notebook of crosswords and ferociously dives into it.  I wondered if he really loves solving puzzles or whether it's for distraction sake.

Let me insert now that due to some past events, I'd never been too keen on flying.  Mix that with a case of "I Love To Travel" and you get the most complex love-hate relationship ever.  Luckily I'd discovered that drowning myself in upbeat "clubby" music can somewhat deter myself from fretting over each minute bump.

Unfortunately music doesn't blind us from other senses. I think it started with the smell.  Kind of like car brakes. seeping from(?) into(?) the back. (Later I learn from a fellow passenger that he heard some metal sound from below the cabins right before the odor began to pervade)

then it was a mini drop. (when in any other circumstance I wouldn't have really distinguished it from regular minor turbulence). Minus the fact that right before the flight was somewhat smooth and that right after, something sounded different, maybe the engine was a tiny bit louder, or maybe it was the sound of something else the pilot turned on... but the flight attendants started congregating towards the front of the plane.  One started walking down the isle briskly checking each of our seats.

turning her head left right left right...

I wondered if someone had snuck a lighter in and light something on fire.

Then all the attendants started walking back and forth again.

At this point, several of the passengers had their heads on a swivel following the attendant's every move. my ears were on high alert too. The pilot turned on the intercom and announced we would be doing an emergency landing in Rochester.

 A lady who was behind me stood up and beckons the flight attendant.

"maam please sit down" she looks a bit pale and stands there with her fists clenched near her chest.  "would you like some water?"  the lady leans forward and whispers something to the attendent. "I don't know maam, I sure hope so. but I dont know, It's most safe you take a seat now and buckle your seat belt"

the attendents started walking down the isle asking all of us to place our tables up and seats back to original position.

I catch the attendent as she walks past me "um.. excuse me, when are we going to land then?"
"I dont know. why?"
"ohh. no reason."

I swear I now, HATE the word "I dont know" (even more then eating daikon)

And I really don't know how long it was until the plane landed, but it was one of the most intense moments i've ever had in my life.

I just kept hoping the plane would hurry up and land. I'm embarrassed to say this but  the following thought also crossed my mind.  "Just get me out of this situation and let this plane land safely, I'd rather break out for the rest of my life."

Oddly, it wasn't like intense situations in movies where people were frantic. We were all pretty quiet.  I glanced at the to the two men sitting next to me.  Both were still strangely in their literary zone. Reading a book and fiddling with the crossword.  Then I noticed the pages weren't turning and the pencil wasn't moving.

Perhaps if someone were a mind reader, the room would be filled with shouts, but at the present. There wasn't really any noice. Everything seemed fairly normal, minus the smell.    All of our eyes just kept following the attendents as they walked back and forth. I turned my head back several times and this old man behind me just kept staring at me.. maybe I looked freaked out or something.

In a futile attempt to stare out into the window (it was 10PM) I realized that I really couldn't make out cloud vs sky. so I just gave up and gazed into the dark night and tried to picture the landing process. I could feel the plane descending slowly Yahooo! ok... so wait, I was gonna be in new york?

The best feeling was when I felt the roar of the plane as the wheel touched the ground.  and as soon as that happened, people started chattering again.  from the left window I'd noticed some flashing lights piercing though the dark. Firefighters.  Woah.  The intercom came on and the pilot summed up the main reason of this landing. "We smelled the acrid smell of smoke and thus had to land"  Nothing  more was actually explained to us after.  They turned off the engine and the smell dissapated and soon they said we could turn on our cellphone devices and use them we did.

At this point I have to say everyone had iphones. and EVERYONE uses the same 2 sounds for texts. the 3 toned dings or the double "ding ding".  I felt cool snatching out my 3gs ;)

Called my mother, and then texted friends that I was talking to right before I got on the plane.  (Time zones still trip me out.  It is just amazing to me that it could be pitch black at one end of the US when the other side is still bright and sunny.)

After a few moments they told us that we were in Rochester. New York.. not MN. and there would be no flights out tonight. We would all be booked the same returning flight and they would work on hotel reservations for us tonight.

Several people were concerned because their final desitnation was somewhere else like Northern California or Korea.

They turned on the engine again to taxi us to the gate and as they did the burnt smell appeared.  I wondered if in any case if they figured out the plane problem whether we'd continue our journey on this same plane... LOL because if that were the case, I'd show some 5 yo tantrums that I've seen while I was teaching in preschool. I wanted to get off this plane as soon as possible.

So the fire trucks couldn't find anything wrong afters they inspected outside. and they told us on intercom we'd definitely not be taking this plane anymore and They ushered us out of the cabin and told us all to bring our boarding passes because the United Airlines system had a glitch and was completely off.

We all brought our carry ons and then the next scene was 160 or so passengers from a boeing 757 waiting in the terminals of a very empty airport. in Rochester New York.

And this is where I began recognizing faces.  That lady with the very short hair i'd saw in the boston airport was on the flight.  That asian lady that kept doing (someone interesting) excersizes next to me was there. a guy with a UCLA beanie was on my flight.

And this is also where I fell in love with my iphone.  Talking to my sister and mom on the phone while texting away on the screen with friends really calmed the situation. I forgot I was several thousand miles away from anyone I knew.

Pretty soon they made another announcement.  That the whole airline's electronic system was down and all other flights of the same airline were also now on ground.  What a crazy coincidence. (This would be on the front page of CNN the next day) In any case, we had to treat our boarding passes like gold. It would be our main link to anything we do since a computerized system was nonexistent then. There would be no flights out tonight.

Ushering all the passengers to a hotel for the night was another endeavor.  After waiting for hours in the terminal and then outside near the shuttle stop, we were finally safely shuttled to a nearby Radisson.  Another two hours of waiting goes by in the lobby.


Friendships are made. I saw several parent/child combo send their 20 some year old daughters and sons to go out and scavenge for open eateries as they waited to check in.   After all, it was close to midnight and many stomachs were beckoning for their long needed supper.  College kids hung with the college kids. All the businessmen in their snappy suits made conversation. It was interesting to see similar people congregating together.

 Then they made the announcement that there were no more rooms.  about 70 or so of us walk over a bridge to another hotel.

(all the while's my stomach still grumbles)

The sound of music welcomes us as we walk in.  The smell of barbeque teases my senses. Fenders on display  near the Hotel bar?  Buzzed people bobbing to a Overseas Swedish band. The snapping of a barbeque grill fumes   Somehow finding myself in a NY Jazz Festival afterparty after an emergency landing still tickles my thought.   How crazy is that?

A man in a cowboy hat walks by to our group of weary travelers. .."Gosh... Huge group checkin in so late at night. Where are u all from?" We all look back at him. "Everywhere".

"ookkaay" he Sarcastically says, and walks away rolling his eyes.

Little does he know how true our statement was.

After checking in we decided that we needed some happy tummy time. Grabbed some grub with two other UC'ers also on the same flight.  Sat down on the lobby couch with some dressy people from Scotland and struck up a conversation.  They had heard that there was a "group" here that was finding refuge after an emergancy landing.  LOL. I think in my head. word travels fast.


Edit:  6-26-2011:


I'd originally written this entry with an intention of detailing every second of my unexpected trip but now looking back I realize the irrelavence to my daily life. Things happen, you go through it. I shouldn't "veg" over every detail. ... especially since I'm embarking on another "adventure" right now. So I'll conclude this post now with some (camera and cellphone) pictures I took then :)

Trippy mirror at the boston airport, who would have know the ride was about to get crazier.

After the whole landing shebang.. we take our first refuge at the Radisson Hotel.....'s lobby.

A LOT of waiting... throughout the whole night.

Rooms run out after more then half of the people check in, the rest of us walk across a bridge to another hotel.

Greeted by fenders in the lobby

The remnants of a Jazz Fesitval greets us.

Can you say PARTAYY! Nights still young at 1AM. But not for us. Checkin time set tom at 9. They made a new flight just for our flight.

Fit for a queen. The room they gave me had two queens, seen as it was just me myself and I, I used the other bed as my table. lol

Rochester Airport the next day.

Nevertheless I hope this was a semi- amusing account of my whimsical journey in Rochester NY one summer night. 

Let's do the hotdog dance! as quoted by dear audrey.

Jukebox: Swedish House Mafia - Save The World


Can it be?
Am  I really writing a journal entry right after work?

It must have been months since I been able to muster enough energy after each 6.5-7 hour day to do so.

I've really forgotten how much easier substituting in high school is... less noise, less strength needed, less tempers tested.

but is this necessarily better then elementary?  Nahh, definitely not.

I was fortunate this year to have found a job after graduation allowing for a short duration of stay time... even luckier to have landed a long-term subbing assignment just a few months in.

Regular subbing has its perks and pits. It's definitely great to be able to pick up assignments at my own convenience while allowing me a crash course in all grade levels. However it's essentially a lone man's journey. No connections, no 'home campus', and no drama.  :P

 Can you guess which signs I made?!

When I accepted the Long-Term subbing assignment, I was looking forward to making connections with a static group of students and rest of staff. Little did I know that witnessing the impressive growth of kids would be surpass my anticipation of the "connection" factor.

Four months may seem like nothing, but it's definitely long enough to see social and academic growth working with 3-5 years old in their special ed programs. (Their's not mine :X) With peer role models and gentle but consistent discipline progress is usually seen. Autistic kids,  including high functioning ones all need to be dealt with in their own special way. Once you find their "switch', a gentle nudging at appropriate times can help them blossom.

Two of our kids... made sure to hide their face from the pic ;)

Take one kid for example.

He may seem like he has a hard time interacting with adults and children, but just by turning on any sort of multimedia, he will begin to engage, singalong and also talk with all of us in intelligible sentences.  We take this opportunity to converse, praise and make eyecontact with him. Connections when his mind is "open" can help reassure him of our friendship and foster his social skills in the long run.

Bet you didn't know he's the only four year old in our class that can read too!

Each step we see is a celebration.  I had forgotten how hard it is to learn how to handle scissors.  Something so second-natured (to us now) such as holding the scissors, cutting along a line or curve needs to be worked on tediously in our youth.   It was really impossible to comprehend until I re-witnessed the process.

My experiences in this long term substitute position has allowed me to appreciate the fertilizer to the seeds our future orchards. primary school teachers! Class time is only a minute percentage of a teacher's job. The prep and cleanup is excessive.

Usually after the first half of the day, I'd physically feel like I'd been working for a full day already, but it is definitely worth it. Time passes very quickly because you are constantly on your toes in a clamorous room...

and of course the flowers helped too.

My first flowers everrrr =)

From the kids during teacher appreciation week!

I was never a flower person, but it's a pretty gratifying experience to have kids bring you flowers.  Please borrow your friend's babies, nieces or nephews and try it yourself.

Can figure out which child wrote me that card :)
pretty good writing for a 4 year old!

Adorable handmade clipboard the PTA gave each of us that week

Kids say the funniest things too... quotes perfect for blog titles ;).

Tuesday was my last day long term subbing. The IBI and two other teachers in my room surprised me with a mini send-off party!

Venue: Extravagant preschool classroom. A circle time table adorned with an assortment of chairs ranging from the infamous red 'time-out seat' to the (highly sought after) 'teacher's swively'.

Garnish: a bouquet! all for meeeeee :D

Topic of convo: kids.

I can now go on forever talking about my experiences through this long term assignment... but that would be soporific... so  rejoyce... because here is a mini concluding collage.

Towards the end of my term I spoke with the principal who had a permanent position lined up that I can possibly begin the following day.  However, it would require a summer and following fall commitment. Not wanting to keep others hanging with personal future plans, I reluctantly turned down the opportunity.

Ta Ta! So back to being itinerate with my regular subbing...

Easter Egg Hunt from earlier this year.

ok no more sappiness about little kids.

Lol because I just got notice that I'll be subbing as a child development center teacher tomorrow.

Little kids here I come again!

La Bayadare

Earlier this evening I watched the ballet performance of La Bayadare. Like most ballets, not a word was spoken throughout the whole performance, yet the transcending performance revealed a tragic love story.

Such is the power of art.

After the ballet, I went starbucks to enjoyed a nice vente cup of Tazo Green Tea Zen.

I sat there letting the warm steam of the tea wash over me and drifted in and out of daydream.

A throat clearing abruptly awoken me from my thoughts.

Before me stood a friendly man in his seventies.

His eyes twinkled with amusement as he pointed to my program book that I had placed on my table.

"I just came from La Baladare too. My granddaughter was dancing there."

The world is pretty small.

Sometimes all it takes is a cup of tea to make a connection.

The fine line between emotions

Take a look at this picture.

Not the table ... but me!  Looks like I'm in pain right?
Maybe something bit me from under the table... now look at this shot taken a millisecond later.

a blatant mid-laugh shot.

Comparing between both pictures, I can't really tell the expressional difference between individual facial featuresYet, the emotions portrayed as a whole differ immensely between one picture versus the another. (at least for me)

Many decisions made in life are like this.... eliciting a mixture of many emotions.

Elation, uncertainty, nervousness and anticipation.

I guess this best describes how I am feeling right now because I just sealed the envelope that will determine the next 1.5-2 years of my life.

After narrowing my decisions down to 3 school and juggling pros and cons for about two months with family,  friends and my magic 8 ball....I've made my decision. Bye UCLA! Bye Emory! Ahh this is it!!

I'm excited because everything about the program I am looking for in terms of career and future preparation.  Ironically, I'm also reuniting with a home I haven't seen in two decades.... still the obvious distance scares me as well.

Hopefully over a decade of socal sunshine hasn't spoiled me too much with weather endurance.  Perhaps, I shall kiss my tan bye bye and come back pale too ;) (in a good way)

Woooooo!

so they say,

i came upon the above quote while browsing online and thought it was unbelievably true

but she dozed off as I finished typing this.

Jukebox: Lights- Lions!  Apparently this song is about Warcraft ;)

Generational differences are most apparent when we work with people much younger then us.

Six graders not knowing what askjeeves.com is? I blame this on the evolution of popular utilities. I mean, that website was a prehistoric google... :P

but it's another story when I see kindergarteners tackle the iphone interface in a speed that my mother would envy.  When I see them struggling to grasp their pencils correctly, yet swiftly typing their names on the keyboard, it really strikes me how much the world has changed with our technological integrations...

... or is it interventions? 

like right now.

I'm sitting on the couch with my my headphones halfway on.  They are the kind that wrap around the top of your cranium.. soft padded foam on the ear speakers that block background noise as well as a piece of tissue would. :P

No, I didn't accidentally have them on halfway. My exposed right ear serves a sole purpose to connect me to the world around me... although it isn't working too well.

My mom leans in to ask me something.... about work.... I think?

She gives a defeated sigh as I said "huh?" for the umpteenth time.

They say multilingual people can multitask better then those who only know one language. but honestly, at this moment. I am highly doubting this study. dammit technology. dammit interesting blogs. dammit confusing fafsa questions and flight time tables. I can give a million excuses. good ones too.

From the corner of my eye, I see her sit back.  Picking up her mug of hot tea, she takes a sip, and closes her eyes, embracing the peaceful silence between her, my laptop monitor and my eyes.

Was it peace? or a disappointing surrender?

I feel horrible.  As much as I want to say "Eff this", close my laptop, and focus my undivided attention to  my surroundings.... I myself, have become a helpless lemming to the digital world.

In reference to a recent TIMES article... is it considered cleaning if I organize the files on my computer rather then my actual room?

Is it considered family time when we all sit in the living room with laptops on our respective laps?

Technology is suppose to speed up connections between individuals, but it also provides a scapegoat for living our lives. The one involving flesh and blood, not ones and zeros.

50 years from now I probably won't even remember this hilarious youtube video I'm watching.

With that said, I think I'll turn off the computer. No need for excuses tonight.

It's Raining Men! is a culprit

Jukebox: Wamdue Project feat. Jonathan Mendelsohn - Forgiveness (Electro Funk Mix)

Honey I Washed the Kids (right) is another culprit :P

I had this brilliant idea back in highschool where I would tape my AP notes outside of my clear shower door to study when I showered. I’d often spend several minutes scrutinizing the alignment of my notepapers... ONLY to realize AFTER I showered, that I had forgotten to read them...

and instead had spent the entire time pondering other jovial matters. Lol. Total Fail.

But I realize now that this is a good thing!

As I stood in the shower last night, it occurred to me that the majority of my blog entries are conjured while showering.

You know when people like being in a specific place to think, whether it be a closet, a favorite place on the patio, on the toilet (jkk), the gym? Well... I guess for me, my SHOWER TUB IS MY PENSIVE SANCTUARY.

While my eyes remain too blind to read the intriguing contents on the backs of shampoo bottles and my face gets pampered from the shower steam (since scalding hot water is THE WAY to go)... my mind runs free for those 10-15 minutes.

No, my bathroom is not filled with candles, luxurious bath soaps and frills… but I do think the environment itself is a large contributing factor. I come from a loquacious household ... hence my extremely expandable vocal cords. The only time I really have peace and quiet, a rightful reason to ignore all telephones and duties is when I shower.

As the serene watery surrounding envelopes me into a blurry world, I generally end up reflecting my day, musing over happenings, or contemplating on how to bring about peace on earth ;)....henceforth, conjuring up a topic I'd like to share later through the forum of my blog.

I have to say this method is actually fairly efficient as it involves multitasking and also a (hopefully effective) process of screening. If a blogging idea deems boring, I’d relinquish it to the reality of my daily tasks as I step out of the shower stall. If an idea seems entertaining enough for “entry status”, I’d type it out soon after showering (in reference to the fun foggy scribbles I’d jotted down on the mirrors of the bathroom earlier.)

So this is my excuse for the lack of entries.

I simply haven’t been showering enough.

article disclaimer: I'm just jokin' hehe I promise I'm hygenic ;)

A Yellow Expensive Car

Jukebox: La Roux- I'm Not Your Toy


So there are two things prevalent in our modern world that I really am not keen on due to a combination of ignorance and disinterest.

One is football, the other is cars.

Don't get me wrong, I think automobiles are impressively functional machines.  But when it comes to horsepower? transmission? brands?  That's another clueless story of mine.

I know there can't be knockoff cars like knockoff purses,  but in all honesty, a perfectly shiny and new "low-ended" car looks just as appealing to me as a gorgeous shiny "high-ended" car.

This is why, when I saw the following vehicle as I was getting gas the other day, the first thing that went through my head was

"oooooo... pretty, shiny, yellow car!"

=D

In middleschool English, I've learned that various contextual clues can aid in defining an unknown word, or the "status" of a particular vehicle in this case.

So in this instance, the clues that were presented to me include:

1. The three exhaust pipes all symmetrically aligned in the middle.
2. A man walking past me going into the store whipping out his iphone to snap a picture...
3. Another man hollering, "SWEET RIDE" as he pulls out of the gas station.

these facts confirm my suspicions that it indeed is a pretty, yellow, and expensive car.

So what's the next step?  Of course, it would be to make a conjecture about the driver.

The following possibilities came up:  a bad@$$ mafia member, elite socialite, wealthy buisnessman, a racecar guru.

Drum rolls in my mind as the driver's door swivels out....

and out steps this scrawny kid...

in a worn highschool sweatshirt,

backwards cap,

and flipflops.

LOL. howw??

(and to this day, I still have no clue what type of car this is.)

and I heard a mockingbird sing!

Jukebox: Mindy Gledhill- All About Your Heart


Several weeks ago, I went on a birdwalk at Ken Miller Recreation Center. What I thought would be a soporific stroll, actually turned out to be a pleasant learning experience.

Our guide was a rather rustic looking gentleman who sported a khaki fishing hat. The frayed pockets of his cargo pants was a vault for his worn-out bird manual and birdcall sound-machine. This beguiling appearance obscured the fact that he was actually a science teacher at an elite private school. Despite his bucolic attire, cheerful glow manifested his sun-weathered face, and his eyes twinkled with zeal as he lead us throughout the reserve.  Our bird watching group was equally as enthusiastic, with binoculars of varying sizes dangling from each of our necks. One sprightly man even carried telescopic contraption.

 This was serious bird watching business yo :P

From far away, the birds looked brown, tiny and austere. But through the magnified lens, each winged creature blossomed in their unique prepossessing majesty. Indeed within two hours, I saw various hummingbirds, phoebes, shovelers, mockingbirds, mallards etc. I even saw a lone Eastern Phoebe, which according to the guide was a rare sighting. "It must have flown out of its regular course”.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to snap-close up pictures of  these winged creatures since I am still on the quest to save enough for my Canon s95 ... But the landscape was a breathtaking sight itself. With the help of my trusty Kodak M347 point and shoot and Samsung cellphone camera, I tried to capture the scenery as best I could. I exercised my penchant for Photoshop afterwards by digitally enhancing them.

Hopefully you will enjoy some of my works as well.

 Path leading to the lake

Bird watching enthusiasts... wait for me! (Spot my guide? hint: hat)

My favorite picture.. isn't it ironic that the nature reserve is less than a mile away from an oil refinery? Sigh, our world nowadays.

This was taken through my cellphone after my camera ran out of batteries. See that lone shadow on the very top branch?  Yup thats the Eastern Pheobe. Some people search for 10-15 years just to find this. What an auspicious moment!

Across the lake

The lake flooded over part of the sidewalk... yup, and I ran through that  too :P

Graffiti on the beautiful fences :(  (you can see this from the first picture as well)

These birds weren't scared of me at all!

Thats it for now! =D

The original pictures prior to Photoshoping

Two ways of thinking

Jukebox: Coldplay- Sparks


if you are part of a platoon in direct range of fire, the worst place to be would be the front.
if you are on an airplane, the best place to be would be the front
if you are being chased by a pack of angry hippos, the worst place to be would be the back
if you are walking with a group into an elevator, the best place to be would be the back
if you are admist two conflicting views or arguments, the worst place would be the middle
if you are a monkey, the best place to be would be the middle.

right?

maybe. but it all depends

"No matter how thin you slice it, there will always be two sides."

— Baruch Spinoza (Philosopher)

*sniff* ipod battery *sniff*

And I thought I could escape the wraths of sickness throughout this winter. negative.

What an interesting way to welcome my new year. a plethora of headaches, sniffs and congestion. mmmm..

Anyway...

My beloved ipod touch of 3.5 years (yes, Generation 1) is entering in its last stages of life. =(

Diagnosis: dying internal battery

The Bad News:

This is unacceptable. As I use my ipod touch as an organizer (synced to google calendar), study aid (flash card manager), music outlet (self explanatory), gps & texting machine (when wifi allows), and mirror. (jk.) 

The Good News:

It's fixable- as long as money, tools, and/or skills allow.

Unfortunately, my cpr certification won't save the life of this little piece of metal.  Therefore, I'm currently debating on three alternative methods of reviving my "iPouch"

1. Reviving it lawfully with a peace of mind

aka sending it into the famous apple store for a whopping $79  before shipping and shebang. All this for a $8 battery I can buy on ebay.

2. Reviving it unlawfully with a peace of mind

Sending it to an online store for a whopping $40 < X <$79 (probably). Ditto about the $8 battery.

3. Reviving it unlawfully without peace of mind ...by replacing it myself

Naturally, option three was my initial preference of fixation... as I speculate it would be a fun project/learning experience as well. However, after perusing through both video and textual dissembling guides of the ipod touch I found the procedures not as simple as I had hoped for.  First, I needed to buy a putty knife to help crack open the covering and pry up the old battery without damaging cables- tricky but doable. I'd have to rummage through my dad's toolbox for an itty bitty screwdriver.... completely fine. But the hardest part would be the (un)soldering. Just like Apple to make its dissembling as complicated as possible. They have the battery wires soldered on to the system board.  Must be done skillfully or else I'll probably be left with a $400 paperweight. I have successfully jailbroken my ipod touch before.. but this requires actual hardware tampering, which is what worries me.

Anyway, I'm still debating amongst these, and if I can figure out how to obtain/use a soldering iron, I'll probably choose 3. I mean, its not  everyday I get a legitimate reason to crack open my ipod.

Stay tuned!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Jukebox: Switchfoot - Enough To Let Me Go


Let's first begin with several ridiculous crappy-web cam photos my frazzled early morning state. Yes. that's a  poke-a-dotted pink pj robe =P

ahem * puts on nerdy lecture glasses *

So before I was planning on writing a long entry about my edifying year yadda yadda yadda.. when something suddenly dawned on me after I reread some of my old blog entries from years ago. Specifically this one:

aside from the blatant misspellings, grammatical errors, and choppy illogical sentences. When I first reread this old diary entry of mine today.. I immediately thought ... " uhh what?!? what exactly was so 'cool' about that day?"

because the answer now would be... nothing really.
in fact, i'm pretty sure i yawned while reading it... until the last sentence woke me up.

I'm ashamed to say that my expectations for a "pretty cool" day has risen immeasurably with these passing 4 years.

Of course, with age comes wisdom. so naturally with better understanding of worries and responsibilities, also come increasingly higher thresholds of amusements needed in order to make a day memorable.

Nonetheless, I've decided that...

my new year's resolution is to live each day with the carefree simple attitude I had during my freshman year of undergrad... by appreciating every routine day as awesome as it is by itself :)


Here are the rest of my resolutions in decreasing importance:
2. listening more! LISTEN and try not to interrupt.
3. show more respect and thanks to my family.
4. relax and not be too uptight about trivial matters.
5. cherish my health by eating nutritiously, drinking a lot of fluid, sleeping well, and exercising routinely.

with that said... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
and yes! today will be a pretty cool day! =)

Why my fingers smell like orange chicken sauce.

Jukebox: Medina- You and I


“GINA HELP HELP...” I jolt up in bed. 630AM the sky was still a sluggish gray, my mind in disarray, scramble of thoughts, brain still lingering in my dreams, resisting reality.  The bed beckons me... "lie back down" no.. "focus focus"... "why am I up so early". oh, mother's holiday potluck. holiday party food. Food. FOOD.

"I can't finish this in 20 min, gina come help me"

Next thing I knew, the icy kitchen floor was draining away heat from my bare feet.  In a hopeless battle against the dissipating body heat, my fingers ran lame attempts at energy generation as I ferociously ripped the prepackaged bags.

Delicate magical pouches of sauce, ready to be emancipated and cast their spells.  Beguiling bits of peanuts and ginger danced amidst the goopy fluid.  "I WAS HOMEMADE" it screams,  hahha homemade my @$$!

"thank goodness we got the ready-to-eat chinese salad set." mom says as she rushes to the rice cooker "one less thing to worry about"

costco still amazes me after all these years. (L <3 V  E)

before me, a clear bowl as deep as my bathroom sink, wide enough to be my winter sled, glistening water droplets already joining in on the sport, sliding down the concave surface into the empty abyss
The emptiness invites food.

Wish granted! In goes 3 pounds of Dole Iceberg lettuce like a garbage dump

Did you know there is taste and texture scale on the bag? a two for taste and texture a "crunchy bold" five. That always reminds me of the cheeto bag, where the scale meets "dangerously cheesy",  I remember pondering over the scale when I was younger. Did any of you wonder too?

I digress.

in go the almonds. in go the crunchy wontons. MIX MIX MIX. Chicken. MIX MIX MIX MIX CHEX MIX!

the oven timer dings precisely as I finish my organic masterpiece.

I peek in the aluminum tray… befuddled by the pallid color of the chicken. my index finger meets the surface. COLD.

“MOM THE ORANGE CHICKEN IS NOT COOKED.”

a 10 second jumble as feet storm in.

"what do you mean it’s not... omg... the conventional oven wasn't plugged"
sure enough, the lone plug smirks at me.  black and silver "You Were Careless", it laughs

8 min left.

I turn on the stove and start the stirfry instead.

the sound of oil snapping comforts me despite the impending deadline. I was working the stove like a skilled panda express worker. Yayuhh!

soon, everything is ready. cellophane and aluminum glistening their sanitary aura.

I load everything carefully in the trunk, and mom speeds off to work.

Undulating waves of success wash over me! Yay! I did well this morning... and it's still only 700! Time to do my own schtuff.... I thinkk?

As I round the corner to go to my room, I pass by the kitchen...

...and the merciless battlefield of unwashed pans, open sauces, and unused foods glares right back at me.

sigh.... i guess not yet.

Happy Holidays :)

* i apologize for the usage of a crude word meaning butt... 

The story of my day....today... lol.

Chapter 1:  Buy one fail, get one fail free! 


Dad: Gina... Gina.. Gina ...
Me: .... huh?!
Dad: A.D.D!!! you have Attention....
        Attention DISFOCUS...
Me: HAHAHAHAA

... clearly knowledge of basic behavioral problems are not required for chemical engineering PhD's...

five minutes later... I tell Jen what happened...

Jen: What? I don't get it...
Me: WHAT? YOU TOO?!!
         it's supposed to be Attention Deficient Disorder
         duh...
Jen: OH... u mean "Deficit"
Me:  oh yaaa.. oops

*cries over my bs in psychobiology*

Chapter 2: Oven roasted turkey $20, cranberry sauce $8, a heartwarming thanksgiving greeting.....   priceless $.10


I am currently crossing my fingers that I will recieve the perfect amount of thanksgiving texts that they don't surpass my 200 text per month mark.

I'm on 199/200 and it recycles in approximately three hours and forty six minutes.
:O

Chapter 3:  the vegetable that sounds like a karatechop... shall be karate-chopped out of my LYYYYFE.  (hrmm.. this one needs a witty-er title...)


College has taught me to stand up for my own beliefs.  This is applicable in many situations... including advocating for the satisfaction of my tastebuds. 


So today I have decided  that I will not eat anymore daikon unless it is a life or death situation.

(or unless I miraculously like it again .... *cough* VERY unlikely *cough*)

Why?

I'm usually not a picky food eater and I'm actually very willing to try anything new. HOWEVER one "thing" that I can NEVER stand is daikon.

This nasty bugger:

changed my mind about adding in image.. just click this link ;)

I dislike the texture, the bland taste, the consistancy, the smell, the shape, the EVERYTHING!

Unfortunately, it also happens to be one of my mom's favorite vegetables.

But after unwillingly pushing past my natural gag reflex and forcing myself to eat this for over fifteen years, I pretty much have had enough.

So today after trying to swallow the vegetable for the nth-teen time... I came to a sudden realization.

We only have one life....so why waste it by eatting foods we don't like unless it is absolutely necessary!?

So that's what I've decided....

DAIKON NONO!


with that said... I proceeded to drop the rest of my daikon pieces into my sisters bowl when she was not looking.

problem solved :)

I Clearly have a problem of being succinct when writing.

It's one thing to wake up at 5 am, and it's another thing to wake up at five am and eat potato chips.... on your bed

These events began my Thanksgiving 2010.

You know there's that saying in regards to flashbulb memory where you remember specific events that are significant in your lives?   I surmise that  for me, each Thanksgiving holiday seems to correspond to a flashbulb event as well. Sophomore year, I remember sitting in front of the turkey with a bowl of mashed potatoes to my right and my physics book to my left... I couldn't take it anymore and went back to school afterwards because my professor had strategically placed a midterm the Monday after our long holiday....  "more time to study!" .... Pfftt!! more like "more time to procrastinate!"

I know there are always jokes about people saying "HAPPY THANKSGIVING" to others in Australia, Canada etc.. it's like "PSYCHE... THEY HAVE NO THANKSGIVING! Did they have the history of the pilgram and the indians... err...I mean... native... americans? nooooo"  Honestly, all history aside... does it really matter?  I say any country can and should have a Thanksgiving holiday.

 It dawned on me THIS Thanksgiving how this holiday is actually really meaningful.

Seriously, how many nations have a national holiday designated just towards Giving Thanks.  It's definitely something that needs to happen more in our society. Appreciation for the things we have.  Heck, I need to work on it myself.

I am soo thankful for my loving family and their everlasting support of any decisions I make (even though.. they still try to influence me, but whatever ), I am thankful for me being who I am... out of the billions of sperm and egg combo... I turned out the way I am with my lame sense of humor and naturallly frizzy hair (no, but seirously frizzy hair= volume! there.. turned a negative into a positive :D ) , I'm grateful for health, safety, diagonal parking spaces, and last but not least, my friends and best friends... always there when I need them.

am I missing anything?

One more thing... and I'm also grateful that I'm an asian (:P) living in the US.  Out of all the possibilities of me being born an ethnicity in the same country.... I was one of the lucky percentages born outside. This gives me  the best of two worlds.. an ecclectic cultural background.  Now I'm not saying that I don't like Asia because that is COMPLETELY not what I'm going for. What I mean is basically I'm happy for being one ethnicity but being born in another country.... does that make sense? I feel like I'm digging myself a hole.


To wrap up my Thanksgiving day post, I'd say after this realization Thanksgiving is now officially my new favorite holiday..... after my birthday. A holiday which encompasses Tryptophan-Loaded food (mmm sleeeeep), amazing shopping deals, and a meaningful life-message is really (excuse my lack of better words)....neat!

I think it's about time to close this bag of potato chip as it has done it's deed of being a muse to my blog ramblings.  I didn't think it was the best thing I could do to my body at 5 AM either.

*thanks body for being able to  metabolize the multitude of junkfoods I eat*

Tag: My Perfect Imperfections

Jukebox: Breathe- Telepopmusik

There's a video tag going around in the youtube beauty community called "My Perfect Imperfections" and it's basically about listing three things you like and three things you dislike about yourself.  I thought it was quite interesting.. seeing all these gorgeous beauty gurus, all who seemed extremely "perfect" talk about their imperfections one by one. We all have our quirks and loves.... so honestly, sometimes by just sharing them, we realize how everyone is both insecure and confident in one way or another.  In the end, it all comes down to accepting your flaws both inside and out.  By mentally understanding that flaws are a part of  who you are and what makes yourself unique... you learn to love yourself more.

And with that said, since I haven't had a lot of time to fill up this blog, I figure why not do a text version of the tag?   I added an extra category down about the parts where we are iffy about also like.. or have grown to like. 

My Imperfections

1. My Skin. I AM SO ACNE PRONE ITS SCARY. I can't really attribute it to genetics because everyone in my family has clear skin... but I break out so easily from stress, food, hormones, everything..... that it really is a constant irk. And honestly, I'm not the type of person to be quiet about my tribulations with breaking out either... My poor friends, they all hear my yodeling about it.  anyway, it's super annoying still with hyper pigmentation and the shebang. For one... as a person who doesn't put too much though about what I eat,  working-out, or hair maintenance, I AM extremely (excuse the word) anal about what I put on my skin (despite the mediocre outcome).... And I honestly feel that if I hadn't been so tentative with my skin... I would have been left with even worse scars.  Good thing this year my face has calmed down... but ya. I often ffeel like it is a hopeless cause...

2. My eyesight is so bad ... I wish I could wake up one day without glasses and be able to see.. either that or at least be able to read a book without glasses without needed to place it 2 inches away from my eyes.

3. Sometimes I feel like my nose is so close to my mouth that I look like Bert from sesame street. hahhaha!!

Those imperfections that you learn to love.... but still sometimes dislike :P

1. I use to think my lips were extremely fat... but I think I got use to it or something. They don't bother me anymore. LOL

2. I like how I don't really need to pluck my eyebrows because they are already naturally straight... but they are sort of short.

3. I like the shape of my nose... however, I always thought it was on the bigger side.... thanks dad -___-

What I Do Like About Myself.

1. My general structure

2. My face shape

3. I like my eyes, the shape and that my eyes are pretty big for a mono-lidder.

Wow.. how demoralizing... my entry came out unexpectedly as in inverted pyramid -___-  haha goes to show I still have a lot to work on in terms of accepting myself for who I am. But I guess this is a step towards doing so.

Alrighty... this wasn't actually the beauty entry I was planning on writing.. but it was shorter and hopefully will suffice for a bit. I shall begin tackling my apps again. Le sigh..